Don't look back in anger
by hope-to-last
Summary: Bakura and Atem are granted a second chance at life. But Bakura is haunted by memories and feels like his new life is a punishment. He wonders if Atem ever feels like that. YYxYB


**Title: **Don't look back in anger

**Summary:** Bakura and Atem are granted a second chance at life. But Bakura is haunted by memories and feels like his new life is a punishment. He wonders if Atem ever feels like that.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Yugioh or the characters, they are property of someone who is immensely rich and I'm not. Moreover, I don't get paid for writing this crazy stuff; I just do it for the fun.

**Author's note:** Someone help me, I cannot stop writing about this pairing! Well, like I say, there isn't enough darkshipping in this fandom… feel free to give me your opinion, my dear reader!

* * *

The only thing disturbing the pitch darkness of the room was the soft and eerie, green light emitted by the numbers of the alarm clock. Stupid alarm clock, always showing the steady, merciless pass of time… sometimes he wanted to smash that stupid thing, but he doubted that Ryou would appreciate the gesture. In the past, Bakura wouldn't have cared in the least about what the boy wanted or not, but things had changed a great deal.

It certainly had been a surprise for everyone when he and the stupid Pharaoh were granted a second chance, a second life. He didn't have the slightest idea of what was the purpose behind that; no one could understand the Gods' purposes. Not even him, after spending a really long time under the influence of a dark god, could begin to understand why the Gods acted the way they acted.

The case is that he had stayed with his former host. Maybe Ryou felt morally obligated to help him, maybe he had pitied him and didn't want to leave him in the street… it didn't matter; he wasn't one to refuse such an offer. With Zorc away and the Sennen Items destroyed, he was free to be himself again, a calmer and less psychotic self than when he was under the spell of the Ring. Ah, it looked like things were finally good, right? Well, you're wrong. Bakura felt out of place in this time, in that city. He only knew how to be a thief, but he soon discovered that business were far more difficult in the present time. Alarms and security cameras were a royal pain in the ass. Not to mention that he officially did not exist and Ryou would be regarded as the committer of all his felonies. That was another gift of his so called Gods, they granted the Pharaoh his old image, but gave Bakura an appearance almost identical to his host; he and Ryou could pass for twins. So robbing was out of the list if he wanted to stay with his host.

The only diversion he had always had was trying to kill the pompous Pharaoh and generally competing with him, however now they barely interacted at all. After accepting the truth, he had no more reasons to murder him and honestly, he really didn't want to kill him anymore. Although that didn't mean they were friends now, no, he still resented him for a lot of things; so they had settled for a tense truce where they ignored each other. Bakura was surprised he kind of missed fighting with the Pharaoh, maybe it was true that an enmity is a very personal relationship, albeit a twisted one.

Bakura glanced at the clock; it marked 3:00 AM. With a defeated sigh, he tossed around in his bed, torn between wanting to finally find sleep or stay awake and escape from dreaming. When people dream about their lives, they can dream about their best moments or about the bad ones. Unfortunately, Bakura had a lot of bad and terrible moments to dream about. For once it wasn't about the massacre at Kul Elna, he was grateful for that, but the time he spent on the Royal Palace's prison wasn't exactly something he was fond of.

* * *

_The cloaked boy was back. __Bakura suspected the boy was about his own age and didn't really work as an apprentice of the jailer, but he couldn't say for sure. All it mattered is that the mysterious boy seemed to care enough about him to bring him some food. It had been two days since he last visited, that meant two days without eating, and he was hungry now. _

_He stood by his cell, studying him. The thief shifted a little, uneasy under his inspection. He wasn't used to be regarded that intensely for so much time, especially when he wasn't able to see the face of his opponent. The boy finally gave him a tray with some bread and fruit, and then he left. _

_He soon reappeared, carrying__ an old but clean piece of white linen and a small bowl full of an unknown balm._

"_Did the guards__ lash you again?" the mysterious boy asked, trying to determine if the thief's back was bleeding or not. _

"_Not exactly" he answered while his companion exposed his marred and bloody back "Your 'companions' lashed me and __then beat the crap out of me." Bakura stated. He wanted to see if the accusation stirred any kind of reaction on his only charitable visitor; but no luck, the boy was impassive._

_He winced in pain when the damp cloth__ touched his tender scars. The balm might help the healing, but it hurt like a bitch._

"_Why do you care about what happens to me? No one else ever cared__." the little thief questioned, trying not to sound too harsh. He had a whole village to avenge and being held prisoner was a poor start to his mission. He knew that knocking the boy out of his way and trying to run away wouldn't work; the only exit was always heavily guarded. So his only hope was to sweet talk the cloaked boy to help him out. Still, his kind behaviour disconcerted Bakura greatly._

"_I care because I don't think you deserve such__ a severe punishment." the boy said with confidence._

"_You don't know that for sure." Bakura insisted, puzzled by the boy's way of thinking._

"_Maybe," he answered while applying some of the balm in the vertical scar under the thief's eye "but if what the guards say it's true, you don't. Stealing bread in the market isn't that uncommon, I know lots of people do it and they don't end up beaten daily and rotting in a cell for weeks…"_

_

* * *

_Bakura awoke startled, hating the damned alarm clock even more. Why didn't he turn off the alarm the night before? He finally succumbed to temptation and threw the offending item against the wall. He was more than fed up of his dreams. He already knew how the story would end, and it wasn't a pretty ending, at least not for him.

He went downstairs, directly to the kitchen to have something for breakfast. Ryou was nowhere to be seen, he was alone in the house. That meant a quick, cold breakfast. Bakura wasn't going to take the risk to mess with his host's kitchen, those burners had a mind of their own, he was sure of that. And after all, cereals were not that bad.

"Oh, good morning." Bakura heard Ryou say when he was in the midst of his frugal breakfast. "I see you woke up early today."

"Mph, yeah…" he murmured before shoving another spoonful of cereals in his mouth.

"Then maybe you could… later… come with me. Anzu says that her cousin will help us with your ID and legal papers…" Ryou shyly suggested. It was funny, Bakura reflected, how the poor boy was still a little afraid of him, even when in all the time since he'd had his own body he hadn't done anything threatening, not even raising his voice to him. It was kinda sad. Bakura sighed. His former host and now flatmate had been pestering him with the same issue for two weeks.

"Well… why not?" Bakura accepted at last. Staying in the house, again, all day long with nothing to do was far worse than having to put up with Ryou's idiotic friends for a little while. Boredom was a bad thing; besides, he was beginning to suspect that in that modern society he really would need those bloody papers sooner or later.

Dawn found him in the couch, looking absent-mindedly out of the balcony. The sun rising and slowly spreading its soft, warm light was a beautiful sight. It wasn't the same than watching the sun rise in the desert, but the sense of peace was the same.

He had only slept for five miserable hours, and the night before were only four hours. He was beyond tired, yet his stubbornness and pride didn't allow him to sleep more. He was sick of dreaming with the cloaked boy, he knew who he was and he should not feel nostalgia at all, dammit! In those days he had been so young, still with a little hope lingering in him… and that person was the only one who seemed to partly understand him. How pathetic was that?

He remember the pain and fear he'd felt when that person stopped coming; how foolish of him to think he could confide in someone. And when he finally escaped that hell hole called prison, the sharp sense of betrayal when Bakura saw _him_ in the balcony of the Royal Palace. Destiny had a cruel sense of humour, since it turned out that his mysterious ally had been the Pharaoh. He remembered thinking he'd only been a toy in the Pharaoh's hands all along. Now he knew that he had seen the Pharaoh the day of his coronation after his father had died, and this was probably the cause of why he stopped visiting him. However, knowing it wouldn't have mattered, Bakura would have done the same: run away to his home village. Kul Elna was his refuge and his doom all the same. Once there, he'd heard for the first time that voice, Zorc's voice promising him power for his revenge.

Ah, accepting had been so easy and sweet… he never liked the idea of being someone else's servant, but at least the evil god kept his promises, giving him freedom and power until he didn't need him anymore.

* * *

"_Look who's all alone now!" one of the guards laughed, pointing__ at the thief in the small cell._

"_Did your little friend ditch you already?" another of them mocked him "Maybe you should have used your charms better to make him stay!" The lecherous laughter echoed in the cells, all empty save for one._

"_Let's teach him what to do the next time…" the third guard proposed, earning a loud roar of approval from his two companions._

_Bakura tried to resist, kicking and punching them wherever he could, even trying to bit them. It was no __use; they were three burly men against a weakened boy. The pain and humiliation were something that cannot be compared to anything else. However, in the midst of their sick enjoyment, the guards forgot to keep an eye on their boy-toy. He was desperate and the dagger of one of the jailers was at his hands reach, taking it and slitting the throat of the monster who wanted another go with him was just a reflex action._

_His escape was a blood bath__, but later he would only remember a blurred recollection of images. When blankly wandering around the surroundings of the Palace he heard that voice he remembered so well, the voice of his mysterious helper for a time. He turned around, only to discover it was the Pharaoh. Hot wrath overtook him and he almost went on a suicide mission to kill the damned brat. Almost. He would not fail ever again, confiding in someone was the worst mistake of his life, he had to be successful in his mission of revenge and kill the Pharaoh. Bakura suddenly found himself eagerly anticipating the right time to do so…_

_

* * *

_He banged his head against the pillow. Bakura had hoped his dreams would skip that episode, but he should have known that luck was rarely on his side. He was going to check what time it was when remembered the fate of his alarm clock. Well, judging by the dim light entering through the window, it was early, too early to be awake.

Did the Pharaoh know what would happen to him once he stopped coming to the prison? Bakura thought, and hoped, the answer was no. Atem was so full of his honour to do something that low. Most probably he didn't even know…

Fuck, if he'd been the one who didn't remember a thing of his past, Bakura would have embraced it like a blessing. He wondered if the Pharaoh ever regretted getting his memories back, Bakura doubted they could be as horrible as his, but Atem's surely were more bittersweet or plain bitter than happy.

Bakura never wanted a second chance, he'd only wanted to find peace. He rolled around in the bed and flung the pillow over his head. Perhaps it wasn't too late to have a little dreamless nap, it was the closest to internal peace he would find.

The coffee wasn't strong enough for his taste, but it was better than he expected. He could feel Ryou's presence behind him, washing the dishes in silence.

"Eh…" the busy boy tried to catch his attention.

"Yes?"

"Uhm, the Ishtars invited all the gang to Egypt, since we're on holidays, you know? Ishizu said she needs some help in the museum, there's going to be a new expedition and they need more people…" Ryou nervously explained "she thought you might be interested in being part of the expedition since they are looking for the tomb of a certain famous…"

"Will she trust a thief around her precious archaeological treasures?" Bakura asked, halting his host's explanation. Ryou looked at him surprised. Usually their conversations were more like a monologue on Ryou's part, so you can't really blame him.

"I suppose so… if not why would she ask? You wouldn't be working for free, and if you don't steal anything, I don't see why not. Nobody knows more than you about entering in old tombs." Ryou smiled, a little uncertain of Bakura's reaction. "If you want to come, we'll take Friday's flight at nine."

"… alright" Bakura answered at last. The truth was that Ishizu's offer sounded good; almost too good to be true. He wasn't going to pass up an offer like that. He missed the thrill of getting into places he wasn't supposed to go, and in this case 'discovering' an old tomb was the closest legal thing he would find to robbing.

Night arrived and he discovered he needed booze... He wasn't thrilled about seeing the Ishtars and it was because of Marik. He knew the blond Egyptian had a crush on him, but he suspected that the problem of being a former spirit and 3000 years old is that there would always be too much age difference with any partner. Bakura didn't need to deal with the boy's insecurities and traumas; he had more than enough with his own. And staying with the Ishtars promised to be very awkward. The alcohol would help him clear his mind or make him forget.

It wasn't an overly fancy pub, but neither a shady one. However he was surprised to see Kaiba enter the local with a certain someone by his side. Oh well, he could always pretend he hadn't seen Kaiba nor the Pharaoh. However Atem had seen him and was now approaching. Too much for trying to ignore them.

"Are you alone?" Atem asked

"I was until now. Not everyone can go out with their sweethearts like you two." Bakura sarcastically said. "I hope you remember he was your cousin in the past life."

"You mean Kaiba and me?" Atem made a horrified face "That's sick, thief. We're just, uhm… I suppose we're friends. And rivals." he added with a smirk.

"What a surprise, by your standards, everyone is either your friend or your rival in something."

"Cut it, thief." the former Pharaoh warned "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same, I was here first!"

"Ra, you're so childish!" Atem sighed and earning an annoyed glare from Bakura "We're just going to have a drink after testing Kaiba's new duel disk system." With that, he went back to the table where the young CEO was waiting with the drinks.

Bakura tried to focus on his drink, but it proved to be pretty difficult when he could feel Atem's gaze constantly on him. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself, and glanced discreetly at his former enemy. The Pharaoh was calmly chattering with the cold Kaiba, not looking at Bakura. Maybe he was getting a little paranoid… Wait, there it was! Atem was now looking at him and their eyes met. The Pharaoh continued talking with Kaiba yet he didn't stop looking at him the whole time. Well, Bakura decided he wasn't going to loose that staring competition. He took a swing of his beverage, making sure to thoroughly lick his lips afterwards in very slow motion. Nevertheless, instead of making the Pharaoh uncomfortable enough to look away, he only smirked gleefully and took a sip of his own, wrapping his lips around the bottle's tip in a very disturbing manner. Bakura suddenly felt hot all over and a little bothered at the Pharaoh's cheekiness. The Ra damned bastard haunted his dreams and now all of his thoughts. He'd had enough, it was time to leave.

The pavement was bathed in the yellowish light of the street lamps, his hurried footsteps breaking the silence of the night. Bakura knew he was being followed. He didn't want to act like a paranoid and turn to see who it was, but whoever it was had been following him almost since he left the pub. He finally turned around and saw Atem calmly walking after him, with his hands on his pockets.

"What the hell are you doing now? Stop following me around!" Bakura yelled. He immediately regretted showing how nervous he was, he always aimed to have total control of any situation he was in.

"Don't think you're so important," Atem admonished him "I happen to live in the same direction, that's all."

"Tsk, I bet." Bakura felt like he'd made a fool of himself. Why hadn't he remembered that Yugi lived in the same area than his host? "Anyway, it's a little suspicious that you left the CEO around the same time I left the local."

"Are you implying I'm stalking you? For Ra's sake, you were the one who couldn't keep his eyes out of me back in the club!"

"That was because _you_ didn't stop looking at me for a damn second!" Bakura retorted, angry with the Pharaoh for starting another argument and with himself for playing along. He sped up his pace; his house was near, just another couple of blocks ahead…

"Oh, how sweet, the little thief is obsessed with me!" Atem mocked him; then he sped up too in order to follow Bakura closely.

"Shut up or I'll beat the crap out of you." Bakura threatened while searching for the keys, he knew they were in one of his pockets.

"Threatening with violence again, very original. Just because you get all hot and bothered when…" Atem commented. However, he never got to finish for he was suddenly slammed against the nearest surface.

"I said shut up!" Bakura growled as he pinned the Pharaoh against the door. He was dangerously close to him and Atem could appreciate how darkened with anger his eyes were. Atem knew he should be nervous or scared, yet he felt thrilled; he couldn't help himself and, in the heat of the moment, he grabbed the thief by the lapels of his trench coat and dragged him closer till their lips met.

A moment later, Bakura reacted and returned the kiss with bruising force. Gentleness wasn't in their book, Atem held him even closer and turned the kiss into a battle for dominance.

Somehow, in the meantime Bakura managed to open the door and they continued their little war in the way to the apartment. Once inside, Atem almost ripped Bakura's coat as he tried to get the garment off of him, while Bakura threw his jacket on the floor. He soon pushed the Pharaoh on the couch and then climbed on top of him face to face, effectively trapping him under his body. They kissed again, Bakura tightening the leather choker on Atem's neck until the king of games pulled his hair hard enough to make him stop; after that he bit his neck, making sure to leave a mark and soothing the sore skin with kisses afterwards.

"Stop it, I'm in control now." Bakura whispered on his ear before leaving a mark of his own on the Pharaoh's neck. "You'll do what I say."

"Mmm, if you say so…" Atem mumbled back, rising an eyebrow in amusement. This game promised to be interesting. Meanwhile, he had sneaked his hand downward and now was undoing the zipper of Bakura's trousers and slipping it inside.

"Ahh… ngh… I didn't tell you to do that." the thief moaned in pleasure and surprise, tightening the chocker once again and cutting a bit his supply of air as a punishment. He felt his partner's desire and he decided to knock the game up a notch "C'mon, finger me…" he ordered.

Atem didn't need to be told twice, he disposed of Bakura's trousers and underwear as quickly as it's humanly possible. They didn't have lube, so Bakura supposed that licking his fingers thoroughly would have to suffice. Once he had his partner's fingers wet enough, Bakura turned around, sitting in the Pharaoh's lap with his back touching his partner's chest.

He felt a wet finger playing around his entrance, circling the rim before dipping in, as Atem used his other hand to masturbate him. Bakura bit his lip and dug his nails in Atem's leather trousers when another finger was added; he could feel them slowly twisting around in a deliciously wicked way. On the other hand, Atem was going insane with desire; Bakura wouldn't stop moving, rubbing his naked ass against his crotch, even the sensation of him painfully digging his fingers on his thighs was turning him on even more.

"I… ah… want more…" Bakura sighed, making Atem stop and taking again his original position: straddling his partner's lap, face to face. He unzipped the Pharaoh's pants, freeing his erection from the leather's harsh confines. What he wanted was going to hurt, but he wanted it so badly he didn't care much; though he spat on his palm before stroking the hardened cock a couple of times, wetting it as much as it was possible.

Bakura slowly slid down on Atem's cock, he was grateful for Atem's hands carefully guiding him and supporting his weight. They both moaned in pain and pleasure, the friction turned out to be a little rough for both of them. However, they were too turned on to back out now, there was no turning back. Bakura soon began moving, a little pain was no hindrance for his desire, and the pleasure was steadily outweighing any discomfort. He put his hands on Atem's shoulders, close to the chocker just in case he needed to punish him, and rode him in earnest, his groans growing louder.

"Shh..." Atem quieted him "Do you want Ryou to find us like that?" he only received another moan as an answer, as well as a forceful kiss. Maybe Bakura would like a bit of dirty talk, he thought. "I bet it would be such a sight... you all desperate riding me like a… ah… like a wanton, little slut, here in the couch where anyone could see us…" Bakura moaned, trembling as he sunk down again and again. "How long did you want that, uh?" Atem continued, moaning in time with him; the feeling was beyond wonderful.

"How long did _you_ want it?" Bakura countered as he felt Atem's hands on his ass, forcefully pulling him down all the way. The Pharaoh let out a little chuckle in response and grabbed Bakura's engorged cock, jacking it off in time with their movements; it was slick with pre-cum, which made it a lot easier. It only took a few strokes before Bakura came with an embarrassingly high pitched whine, latching once again to the damn chocker and tightening it a bit, but not enough to completely cut off his partner's breathing.

Atem was close too. The feeling of the walls around his cock suddenly tightening was almost all he needed; three shallow thrust later he achieved his own orgasm. He rested his head on top of Bakura's, letting his heartbeat return to its normal rate. He was sticky due to Bakura's come splattered between their stomachs yet he couldn't summon himself to move. Three hundred years had passed since the first time he'd met him and he still couldn't forget about that little thief.

After cleaning themselves and their clothes, which had been slightly soiled during their activities, the best they could, it was time for Atem to go back home.

"I hope you don't drop all your partners so soon after sex." Bakura laughed, aiming to rile up the Pharaoh.

"I'd stay, but I have the feeling that you don't want me to… or do you?"

"Hell, no!" he promptly answered, maybe a little too quickly to pass as a casual answer.

"Thought so." Atem said "Besides, I still have to pack a lot of things for the trip."

"So you're also going…" Bakura said. It was weird to think that they were going back where all had begun.

"Of course. It'll be fun to listen to the scientist explain their theories about my, well, our times. Besides, someone has to keep an eye on your thieving hands, I'm sure Ishizu will be relieved."

In two days, he would be back in Egypt, searching for the remains of their old civilization in the middle of the desert. And Atem was going to be there, by his side, the whole time. Fighting with him was always a good pass-time, be it at cards, arguing or their newly discovered physical approach. For the first time since the Gods made him a mortal again, he didn't feel depressed; it looked like it was going to be one hell of a summer. Perhaps having a second chance wasn't as much of a punishment like he had thought at first, but right now he would better die than confess that Atem was the reason he felt better.


End file.
